I am Sniper, posting to speak of the events that unfolded here but a few days ago. As you have no doubt heard from Heavy the Blues were able to enter the compound and to pierce all of Engineer’s wonderfully located defences. I do not know how these outer layers were bypassed, but I suspect that the intelligent, cunning, and in all likelihood handsome Blue Spy was able to help the oafish buffoons to navigate their way through the maze of deadly traps and surprises.
I arrived at the infirmary after the rest of my Red comrades had been taken prisoner and the Blue Soldier was gloating about his victory (even if it was entirely due to the courageous actions of their team’s Spy, without whom they would all have been gunned down before they could have even seen Red base). He claimed the base as his own, which of course I was heart broken about. What could I, a sniper trained for long ranged combat, possibly hope to do in such close quarters? I was quite ready to abandon the base in return for my Red friends’ lives (I believe that is what they would have wanted) when I noticed that the impressively ignorant Blue Medic was holding what appeared to be a small rabbit in his evil clutches.
Knowing that the Blue team are made of the lowest wretches of society (unlike my fine nation of Australia, whose main exports include coal, koalas and good cheer) I was concerned for Flopsy’s safe keeping and requested that they take me instead, if they desired a hostage.
The fiends refused and I lunged forward daringly, willing to give my life without hesitation to rescue a fellow Red team member, even if they are a mere herbivorous rodent. I was very fortunate that while I was distracting them so effectively Heavy arrived, no doubt drawn by the sound of my pleas and shouts to secure the rabbit’s safety.
Furthermore, I have finally been able to identify where Heavy was located all of this time and how he evaded all detection. As a Sniper I am well versed in Spy techniques, as I must know how to spot them from very far away, which makes a lot of sense when you think about it. In order to disguise themselves they must use a hastily drawn mask to create a perfect illusion, totally undetectable by all but the must observant eyes (such as my own).
When Heavy appeared I noticed that he was wearing what appeared to be a device of a similar form to a spy’s mask… except that in his hurry to emulate his sneaky foe he forgot to draw anything on the mask or indeed to create a pair of eye holes.
He was in the infirmary the entire time, disguised as nothing… It seems that Soldier’s advice was most ingenious after all.